


I’ll Carry You

by i_heart_danchou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 21:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19186081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_heart_danchou/pseuds/i_heart_danchou
Summary: From the very beginning, Levi and Erwin have been supporting and carrying each other.





	I’ll Carry You

**Author's Note:**

> So this is from last year’s Eruri week prompts, “Carrying”
> 
> I hope you like it!

The first time Erwin carried Levi was just after their first excursion beyond the walls.  Isabel and Farlan were dead, their glazed over eyes still fresh in Levi’s mind… he needed a distraction, a connection, a warm pulse under his lips.    
  
In Erwin Levi had found a reason to keep fighting, and he kept close to him as they re-entered the walls.  Levi didn’t give a shit that no one else in the Survey Corps trusted him, didn’t give a shit that Shadis loathed him, he kept his eyes on Erwin’s back and found that kept him steady.    
  
He followed Erwin back to his office, saying nothing, wondering just when blondie would start to say something— apologize, maybe— about what had happened to his friends beyond the wall.   
  
“Levi—“ Erwin started, but Levi didn’t want to fucking hear it.  He slammed Erwin against the door and started to kiss him.  Levi kept his eyes open, and felt a measure of satisfaction when the hesitation, fear, and confusion on Erwin’s face melted into something like excitement, arousal, and dominance.    
  


Erwin kissed him back, hoisted him up so they could kiss easier, and Levi wrapped his legs around Erwin’s waist.   Levi bit down on the pale flesh of Erwin’s neck, nipped up towards his ear.  “Farlan thought you were straight.”  He muttered, his deft hands making short work of Erwin’s button down shirt.  

Erwin’s smile was wry.  “Mm.  Not exactly.”  He said simply, walking them briskly to the comfortable couch that sat opposite his desk.  

He didn’t make a comment about how light Levi was, nor how small he was, didn’t try and bring up his dead friends, didn’t say anything to take them out of this moment.  He started kissing down Levi’s chest, was being tender and gentle with him and it made Levi feel sick.  

“Just fucking get on with it.”  He growled, pulling Erwin up by the collar so they could kiss once more.  Levi’s kisses were desperate and deep, peppered with sharp nips and bites to Erwin’s lips, his neck, his ear lobe.  

Erwin took his time, though, and slowly made Levi come apart beneath him.  Erwin cupped Levi’s face with his hand, the poorly healed cut that Levi had given him palpable on his cheek.  It must have hurt… probably still did hurt, actually.  Levi grasped his wrist and brought Erwin’s palm to his lips, the thin red line just barely, barely healing.

_Thank you._

**  
Levi didn’t really like being carried, especially. It made him feel vulnerable, and that was a position he didn’t like to put himself in.  Erwin respected that in a way his previous lovers really hadn’t, and Levi was grateful for it.   
  
As time went on though, he allowed himself to be more vulnerable in front of the commander.  He leaned on him, and Erwin leaned back… they kept each other standing, they carried each other’s burdens.    
  
“You know.”  Levi started one night, pouring each of them a glass of brandy from Erwin’s secret office stash.  “If you ever get incapacitated beyond the walls, you’ll probably be too big for me to rescue.”  He cast his eyes up casually, like he didn’t want to see Erwin’s reaction to that statement.  
  
Erwin just chuckled and leaned back in his chair.  “I suppose you might be right.”  He mused.  “My horse must be the strongest in the legion, eh?  Worst case scenario you might be able to load me into one of the carts.”  
  
“Assuming anyone could even get you off the ground.  You’re, what, 200 pounds of dead weight?  I mean, you’re a valuable asset but no one wants to throw their back out, Erwin.”  Levi was trying his hardest not to smirk, but whenever he and Erwin got into these banter battles he found it quite difficult.    
  
Erwin’s laugh was deep and silky, the corners of his eyes crinkled and Levi felt immeasurably pleased.   “Well we can’t have that, can we?  I suppose when the time comes you can leave me behind to fertilize the grass.”  
  
They clinked their glasses together and left it at that.   
  
**  
“It’s the commander!”  Someone, Levi didn’t know fucking who it was, barked out, “We need some help!”    
  
His goddamned ankle had still been acting up, he hadn’t been cleared for a mission yet, and fucking fuck fuck _fuck_ Erwin had fucking promised it’d be okay.  He scrambled through the crowd and spotted his commander, white as a sheet, breathing shallow and rapid, absent most of his fucking arm.    
  
Levi’s eyes went wide, his eyebrows lifted, and he took a moment to collect himself.  “Erwin.”  He breathed, kneeling down beside him in the medical cart.  “What did you do?”  
  
Levi should have been there.  Should have been on the mission, been at Erwin’s side like he always was.  Levi was Erwin’s fucking right hand— and now…   
  
His right hand was gone.    
  
Levi tried to imagine what had happened, pictured himself ripping Erwin’s arm out of the titan’s mouth and getting him the fuck back home.  Erwin was lighter now, he supposed.  He might have been able to carry him.    
  
When he heard the full events though, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes.  Stubborn fucking bastard, down probably 20% of his blood, minus a limb, still together enough to complete the mission single handedly (heh), ride his own fucking horse home, and not collapse until everyone else was home safe.    
  
People often wondered if Erwin Smith was even human.  Levi watched him in bed as he recovered, watched the white cotton of his bandage darken as a trickle of blood seeped through it.  He watched his chest rise and fall, he watched the sweat drip down his forehead while the agony consumed his sleep.  He was human.  Erwin Smith was human.    
  
Levi allowed himself to rest his head against Erwin’s chest, taking comfort in hearing his heart beating through his slumber.    
  
“Don’t worry, Erwin.  I’ll keep things running while you’re here.  Just… get better, okay?”    
  
Erwin couldn’t hear him, but Levi closed the door quietly when he left anyway.  Erwin had always, always carried his burdens alone.  Levi wanted to make it easier for him, if he could.    
  
**  
“Don’t you fucking touch him.” Levi hissed, the blood more or less evaporated from his skin.    
  
Eren jumped back, his eyes wide, his brow furrowed.   “Sorry— I-I didn’t mean to—“ He’d had his hand on Erwin’s shoulder, and Levi found it repulsive that the boy could even _look_ at his commander.    
  
“It doesn’t matter.”  Levi let out a long breath through his mouth and shut his eyes.  “No one touches him.”   
  
The horses were all but dead, their equipment and carts destroyed.  The sun was rising hot over Shingashina, and it was becoming obvious that the last survivors of the Survey Corps would not be able to bring any of their dead comrades home.    
  
But they couldn’t fucking leave _him_ here, right?  Not Erwin, not after everything he’d done, everything he’d lost.  Levi’s mind was working hard, trying to figure out a way to… maybe if Eren transformed again they could—   
  
“Levi.”  Hanji said eventually— coolly, tentatively, keeping Levi at arm’s length.  “I’m sorry.  We have to prioritize the injured.  We regroup, go to the basement, then we get back to Sina and figure out what to do next.”    
  
Levi could hear the subtext in her voice— Erwin is dead because of you.  Erwin trusted you to make the right choice, and you killed him. How can humanity go on without him?  
  
He wasn’t sorry, he wasn’t going to explain.  No one would fucking understand it anyway.    
  
Levi’s eyes were harsh and cold, and Eren wilted under his gaze.  The boy moved away under the guise of checking on Armin, but he knew he wasn’t welcome in this space.   
  
“I’m not leaving him here.”  Levi hissed once they were alone.  “I can’t leave him here to rot.”   
  
Hanji sighed and Levi noticed how tired she looked.  “…we have some time.”  She said eventually.  “You can look for somewhere more suitable.”  
  
The houses in Shingashina were largely damaged or deteriorating.  Levi picked one that had an overgrown garden at the front of it, attracted by the flowers which had somehow managed to grow here in the absence of humanity.   It seemed like it had been a pleasant home, once, and had a nice roomy attic with a window.  Levi hated the darkness, he hated dank spaces.  He didn’t want Erwin to rest somewhere without sunlight.    
  
It was easy to close his mind off when he was cleaning, and he wanted the room to be spotless.  Five years worth of dust and grime came away easily under his fingertips, and the light from that cloudless sky bathed the neat little space.  Levi picked some flowers too, and put them in an empty bottle he’d found downstairs.  He… just wanted it to be nice for him, that’s all.  
  
The practicalities of moving Erwin’s body were another matter entirely.  Levi was adamant that no one else would touch him, especially not… _people_ who had begged for Erwin’s death not two hours before.    
  
The commander was a large man, an imposing one, and he easily had 60 pounds on Levi.  The captain was strong, of course, but… he didn’t want it to be undignified.  He didn’t want Erwin’s head flopping around, he didn’t want to fucking drop him.    
  
So he strapped his commander to his back, grasping onto his strong left arm to keep him steady.  Erwin’s head rested on Levi’s shoulder, and it made him sick to feel how cold it was.  Levi had to ignore the sticky chill that seeped through Erwin’s wounds onto Levi’s uniform, the focused on keeping Erwin in place while his gear did most of the work.    
  
‘I’ve got you.’  He thought to himself.  ‘I won’t let you fall.’    
  
He was careful as he gently rested Erwin on the bed, and he chanced a look at Erwin’s face. He looked peaceful, at least.  “Erwin…”  He said aloud, feeling foolish for speaking to a dead person.  “I… I’ll keep my promise,  I’ll kill that fucking hairy bastard.  And I’ll come back for you, okay?”    
  
His throat felt tight and he pulled Erwin’s cloak over his face.  This was the last time he’d ever see Erwin again, probably.  The last time before his face rotted away, before his body was just bones.    
  
When the dust was settled, when the future was more certain, Levi would return to this place.  Without words, without ceremony, he would carry Erwin one last time. 


End file.
